#SOHOBeautySquad

A few months ago I got to become part of the SOHO Beauty Squad. As a welcome gift they sent me a couple little goodies!
I'm the kind of person who loves bags. I literally have bags inside bags inside bags. I love using different size bags to help keep my stuff better organized. In my purse I always have at least 2 smaller bags, and that way I always know exactly where what I'm looking for is and I just have to pull out whichever bag I need. So, when they sent me 2 of their cute little makeup bags, I was super excited!

They sent me the Bloom Service Round Top bag, which you can find at Harmon and Bed Bath & Beyond. This bag is super cute and little. But its shape makes it much more spacious than you'd expect. I put it to the test by taking one of my similar sized bags and seeing if I could fit all of its contents into the SOHO bag.

In this bag I keep some of my quick grab, on-the-go makeup, including:

• a mirror
• primer
• liquid foundation
• cream foundation
• powder foundation
• eyeshadow trio
• single Mac eyeshadow
• small eyeshadow palette
• travel eyeliner
• mascara
• 4 full size/travel brushes
• 5 broken brushes
• eyeliner sharpener

This bag did fit all items shown in the photo except for the 2 taller brushes. I probably could have shoved them in, but I didn't want to damage my brushes! It was a snug fit but technically did work. The only problem was it would most likely be a little annoying trying to dig through this bag to find what I need because of its size and how full I had it. So, when I use this I'll be sure to put less items in it! Other than that I really like this bag. It's cute, small and compact..but it holds a lot for its size. Also, the deep zipper and fabric flaps inside allow you to open it nice and wide without (hopefully) anything falling out. The zipper is thick and plastic which makes it easier to zip and much less likely to break!
I will probably use this as my new "female emergency kit" which I keep in my purse at all times and fill it with anything a girl might need in case of an emergency. Pads and tampons, stain remover pens, hand sanitizer, hair ties and bobby pins, makeup remover wipes, blotting papers, moisturizer samples, nail clippers and files, etc. The bag I currently have in my purse is about half the size and is packed full, so this might have to replace it!

I was also sent the Angle Management Organizer with Detachable Brush Holder, which you can find at Target. This bag is a little bit bigger, but it is pretty slim compared to most makeup bags I tend to use. I also put this one to the test, comparing it to a similar sized bags and seeing if I could fit all of its contents into the SOHO bag.

The bag I was using for comparison was only about half full, but the bag looked to be almost twice the size, so I thought it would be an alright comparison.

In this bag I had some of my every day products I put into a bag for a weekend stay at my besties, including:

• primer
• liquid/foam foundation
• concealer
• 2 powder foundations
• bronzer/blush combo
• Naked Basics palette
• lipgloss
• mascara
• beauty sponge
• 3 full size brushes

I didn't realize how little I had in here. I think it was actually less products than I had in the smaller bag, but I kept going with the comparison. The great thing about this bag is its tall enough to stand up my liquid products like the primer and foundation. Then I could stack sideways the round compacts, and squeeze in the rest of the products wherever they fit. This bag also has a pocket on the inside and a detachable brush holder on the front. I'm not really a fan of the detachable brush holder, I think it makes the bag less cute, and it is too small for 98% of my brushes. I only had a couple brushes that weren't too tall.. But I managed to fit the brushes I had into the pocket inside the bag for safe keeping. I was really surprised with how much room was left in the bag after I filled it with the products I had out.. I probably could have put almost twice as much in there. This bag also has deep, thick plastic zippers, so it too opens nice and wide. I did notice, though, if it's too full some products slip out when its open because the little side fabric things (what are they even called?!) only go up about half way, so be careful with how you load it up!

Altogether I love the new additions to my bag collection, and I will get so much use out of them! Huge thanks to SOHO for inviting me to join their Beauty Squad!

Are you a bag lady like me? What are your favorite ways to use makeup/storage bags?

Have a beautiful day.
Believe. Dream. Explore. & Be nice to people.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

From a very young age we are expected to think about our futures. As children we're asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?" And although most answers are something generic like a fireman or just silly like a dog or Spiderman, I can't help but think our teachers and parents ask us this to get us prepared as early as possible to start thinking about what we will do with our lives.

When I was younger there were many things I wanted to be. I've been a huge animal lover my whole life, so a majority of my childhood I wanted to be a veterinarian so I could spend my days with cute dogs. That is, until I realized I would have to deal with the bad as well as the good, and I could never be the one to put down a sick or injured animal. So I changed my mind. Next thing I wanted to do was become a hair dresser..but I was quickly reminded that you need to be very charismatic while talking to your clients as you do their hair. And lets face it, my anxiety just wouldn't let that happen! As I got a little older and really started finding my passions, I decided I wanted to be an artist. I loved expressing my creativity in many different ways. But, as always, when you have a dream..there will be doubters. I had so many people tell me there's no work for an art student and it would be a waste of time and money. So there I was..and now here I am..23 years old and not knowing what to do with my life.

But I'm the kind of person who tries not to regret things in life. I try to take everything as a learning experience, the things that happen in our lives and how we handle those things mold us into the people we are..and there's no shame in that. (unless you're a complete jerk) So I don't necessarily regret not going to college or finding my "dream job." It has just made the whole "get your life in order" thing a little more difficult. Sure, I could sit here and dwell on the things I coulda woulda shoulda done..but that won't change anything, will it? So instead, I've been spending a lot of time thinking. Thinking about where I see my life heading, thinking of where I want my life to head, and thinking of what I have to do to get those two on the same path.

Recently it sort of hit me. We live until we die.. I know, morbid. But the truth is, we are born..so we can grow up..so we can get jobs..so we can have families of our own..so we can grow old..so we can die. And all the other stuff in between isn't all that significant. I mean, yeah, to some people their work is their life. And it is very important..but to most of us we just do what we have to so we can get by.

So, what do I want to be when I grow up? Honestly..I don't care what I end up doing. I just want to be happy. I'm not saying I'd be okay working at McDonald's until I'm 50..I'm just saying in the end it doesn't matter if I follow my 6 year old dream or my 16 year old dream. Wherever I end up I'm okay with that. If I love what I do, if it makes me happy, and if it pays the bills and supports me and my family..then I will be living the dream.

I just hope there's goats involved.

So what do you want to be when you grow up?! ;) Let me know in the comments!

Have a beautiful day.
Believe. Dream. Explore. & Be nice to people.

Untitled.

Warning: This is a very long and personal post about my life and my decision to, slightly, change the direction of my blog. Feel free to skip over it if you just don't care! Any rude or mean comments will be blocked.

It's been a couple months since I've posted on here, and a little while since I've posted anything regularly. I know I've mentioned it in a few of my posts after a short break from blogging that I had some personal stuff to deal with. But the truth is, it never really went away, and I still deal with it every day. I know not everyone cares to hear about this stuff, so if you're not interested please kindly exit out of this post! But I know a lot of people out there deal with the same things I do, and if I can reach out to even one person and let them know they're not alone that would be amazing!

Ever since I was little I always knew I was different. I never quite fit in with the other kids and I was far to shy to really make friends. I was always the outcast, the weird kid who never spoke and sat alone at lunch. This made me a prime target for the other kids to pick on and make fun of me. And lets face it..kids can be harsh.

I suffered from such severe anxiety about just going to school in the morning I would have cry, have panic attacks and upset myself so much I would get sick. It had become clear to my parents that there was something deeper than just not wanting to go to school. So, I started seeing a psychiatrist. I slightly remember the first person I went to see. It was a woman, and all I can really remember was playing some sort of games to try and get me to open up and talk. I guess it wasn't very effective because I started seeing another psychiatrist. This time it was an older man with a funny accent. He diagnosed me with selective mutism and social anxiety. I was put on medication called Paxil.

I have always bee a dog lover. Even when I was really little and terrified of dogs, I still had an obsession with them. I couldn't even count the number of stuffed puppies and random dog knickknacks I had. From Scooby-Doo to 101 Dalmatians and every pup in between. And I can remember wanting this silly toy called Wettin' Whizzer, from 101 Dalmatians, so badly that my parents basically bribed me with it. They got it for me, but I couldn't have it! They kept it up on a shelf in our living room, taunting me, until I spoke in school.

Little did we know, Paxil had some side effects.. Including depression, suicidal thoughts and other things a child should never have to deal with. I can remember one time I was so upset about something, probably completely insignificant, that I wrote a note to my parents about hating my life and wanting to die..and taking a hair brush and scratching myself over and over again until it hurt so bad I couldn't take it. Needless to say, I no longer took Paxil.

By this time, I was starting to open up just enough that I could answer questions if called on in class, and I stopped crying on picture day. (I have a few very embarrassing photos of myself balling my eyes out in school photos, simply because the anxiety was overwhelming) So I guess my parents didn't think I needed help anymore. But I don't think they knew that I never really got over my "problems." But I never really told anyone about them.

In middle school I had a small group of close friends. But I was still looked at as that weirdo who was different. And outside of my little group of friends I talked to literally no one. This, once again, made me a target for other kids. This one complete jerk I went to school with spread a rumor that I was a lesbian. Another kid would constantly taunt me in the halls. Every time I saw him. It got to the point where I would be almost in tears by the time I reached the safety of my class room. The "popular" girls in my grade would tease me..for god knows what reason, I never spoke a word to any of them in my life.

Small dramas in my group of friends finally lead me back to the solitude that is my life, and by high school I really only had 1 or 2 friends. I spoke to no one in my classes, and thankfully in lunch I sat with my sister and her friends one year..but alone the next..then by 12th grade I had made friends with another small group. (although I still always felt like I didn't belong.) The teasing didn't stop in high school. The immaturity of my classmates is still surprising to me. This one guy came up to me one day when I was sitting alone and told me his friend wanted to go out with me..then he went back to his table and all the "popular kids" laughed at me. I'm sorry, but isn't that like 3rd grade bs?! But I still got to my next class and broke down into tears. I will never understand why people feel the need to pick on others..

So..fast forward to my life now. I'm not quite sure what happened, but my anxiety has kicked into overdrive. Just the other day, out of nowhere..I got out of the shower and just started feeling really panicky and weird. Nothing had happened to spark it, I just felt an overwhelming rush of panic and anxiety. It has been really hard for me to focus or put a lot of effort into anything.. I started feeling like blogging was becoming something I dreaded having to do and it was becoming a chore. I never wanted it to be that, and I realized I needed a break to clear my head and work on fixing myself. I started this blog because I love makeup and hair and all things beauty. I love sharing my thoughts and opinions on those things. And I love the community that I had become a part of. I didn't want my personal issues to change any part of that, so I felt it was important to take a step back and better myself as a person. And I think that break was much needed.

During my little break I realized something..I started keeping a journal of all the things going on in my head and in my life. Writing everything down really helped make some things clear. And it was then that I decided I wanted this to be not only a beauty blog, but a life blog. I know some of you won't want that..and I respect your opinions. But this is a choice I thought a lot about and decided it was something I really wanted to follow through with. So from now on, I will be sharing life stories and more personal stuff with you, as well as my normal beauty posts. Don't worry, it will probably be 80% beauty 15% talking about my dogs and 2% talking about my life..which consists of 99% my dogs. :D This is Life According to Lara.

Thank you to those who have been there for me and stuck around through my randomness with posting..and to those who understand. Anxiety controls most of my life, and I am fighting like hell to regain control. Having people who understand and accept who I am and what I am going through makes that fight much easier.

Have a beautiful day.
Believe. Dream. Explore. & Be nice to people.